“When I finally felt ready for a second child, years later, I spoke to my therapist about preventative strategies in case PND started throwing its weight around a second time. I had notes and lists. I built a strong sense of identity as a woman and mother and felt ready to fight. What I didn't prepare for was a terrifying emergency caesarean, milk supply issues and a baby with silent reflux. I felt my body betrayed me. The negative self-talk and feelings of failure made themselves at home again.
Depression doesn't care about your lists.
When I received news of my beloved Grandmother's sudden death my anxiety became untethered. I always felt she was an anchor to my true self, and it was like someone just snipped the rope without warning. I couldn't make it to the USA in time for her funeral so I wrote the eulogy and watched the service via FaceTime at 2 am. Weeks later, my Uncle also unexpectedly passed.
I felt like the teenager pushing my emptiness down with a banana, protecting everyone else from the discomfort my feelings created. I wanted to disappear but only because I thought my family would be better off without my misery.
I felt ashamed because I had no valid ‘reason' to be sad, we had such a beautiful life. Depression does not discriminate but knowing that didn't help me feel much better about it.
The grief and isolation triggered a deep, intense depression as I had never known. Rock bottom rushed toward me as I fell.”
This is an excerpt from my book chapter. You might know about my struggle with postnatal depression if you’ve been following me for the last six years. What you might not know is that I battled with depression (undiagnosed and untreated) since my teens. Even my husband learned new things about me when I let him proofread the manuscript.
Parts of my story are confronting but it has a positive ending. I wouldn’t be able to be here, and able to share it otherwise.
To be honest, I'm going through a rough patch at the moment but since my story is ongoing, I know everything will be okay eventually.
Thank you for reading.
#changemakersbook
Release date 6 December 2019
Art That Refuses to Shrink
Dawn Noelle is a Melbourne-based artist creating bold, expressive mixed media art, oil paintings, textile works, and contemporary portraits that celebrate individuality, colour, and unapologetic self-expression. Inspired by feminism, identity, and the beauty of taking up space, every artwork is created to be felt—not to quietly blend into the background.
Looking for an original artwork to transform your home, a meaningful gift, or a statement piece that reflects who you are? Browse this collection of original paintings and fine art prints in Dawn’s online store. Every piece is created in Melbourne and shipped safely to collectors across Australia and worldwide.
Lusting for something created just for you? Dawn also accepts a limited number of art commissions throughout the year. Whether it's a portrait, a large-scale mixed media painting, or a deeply personal piece for your home or business, every commission begins with your story. Simply complete the commission enquiry form, and co-create something that couldn't belong to anyone else.
Alongside original artworks, Dawn regularly exhibits her work through Melbourne exhibitions, galleries, art fairs, and selected group shows. Follow along for upcoming exhibitions, new collections, behind-the-scenes studio updates, and works in progress.
You were never meant to blend in. Your walls shouldn't either.
Browse original art, discover museum-quality fine art prints, enquire about commissions, or simply find the piece that reminds you who the fuck you are.
I acknowldge the traditional owners of the lands where I work, dream and create, the Wurundjeri people. With Love, Dawn.
Rough patches are to be expected and will pass with time and your tools. Can't wait to read the book! Pat got one on his Kindle.
Thank you so much for the words of encouragement. And thanks for grabbing a copy! xo